


A Very Strange Spidey Sense

by mauvera



Series: In other news: the avengers don't know what a Spidey Sense is [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Gen, Stephen is a confused old man, someone should've warned him the avengers were weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 19:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18267788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mauvera/pseuds/mauvera
Summary: All he wanted to do was go home, but Stephen Strange refused to leave until he knew why all the Avengers genuinely thought it was a good idea to trust the warnings come from a kid who felt a need to name everything after spiders.Honestly, he could maybe tolerate a "spider-suit" but what the hell was a "spidey sense"?





	A Very Strange Spidey Sense

Wong better be ready to buy Stephen lunch for the next millennia after all this.

Stephen sighed, his distracted thoughts about how much Wong owed him were dispersed when yet another alien screeched in his face. He conjured a portal, dropping the bug-like creature right above the middle of the pacific ocean. As Stark shot past him, blasting through a clump of the creatures, Stephen decided Wong actually owed him for the next two millennia. Maybe three. 

Really, what had he expected when Wong informed him the Avengers requested his assistance? Was it professionalism? Some semblance of dignity? A worthy use of his time?

Well whatever he had thought, he was wrong.

Stephen grimaced to himself at the sound of Spider-Man’s enthusiastic cheer sounded from across the battlefield. The child had barely been able to keep his mouth shut for the last half hour, somehow managing to rival even the great Tony Stark in his ability to infuriate Stephen Strange in seconds. Perhaps his only saving grace, Stephen decided, was that the boy seemed to have quite the eye.

He’d been surprised by how often Spider-Man was calling out warnings to his fellow teammates, at first assuming he was simply doing it to feel useful, no doubt that Stark had ordered the boy to stay out of the thick of the fight. Except, the strange thing was that the Avengers actually… listened.

Stephen had barely been able to smother his surprise when Captain America had dutifully stepped to the side at Spider-Man’s cry to watch out. The Captain hadn’t even bothered to turn around and see if the Spider’s warning held any merit, simply trusting the boy which gave him just enough time to move out of the way of a rogue alien that had apparently attempted to sneak up on him. 

Stephen’s confusion only grew exponentially when he saw Hawkeye follow the boy’s advice minutes later. Admittedly the spy had done it with an exasperated sigh, but nonetheless he’d jumped off the roof he’d been perched on only for it to come crashing down seconds later.

So, a team of Earth’s mightiest heroes were all apparently willing to trust the advice of a child who thought it was a good strategy to distract aliens with various knock knock jokes, despite knowing the aliens couldn’t comprehend English? Something didn’t add up, and Stephen was determined to figure out just what was going on.

 

-

 

“Thanks for the assist,” Stark said as they stood amidst the rubble and remnants of their fight. Stephen pursed his lips, and hummed something of an agreement. Not that Stark noticed his lack of response, after all Stephen didn’t even need to see beneath his helmet to know Stark’s attention was far more occupied with watching the way Spider-Man was peering curiously down at the carcass of one of their defeated foes. The man was blatantly obvious about where his attention was focused, enough that Stephen was pretty sure Stark was just about ready to send Spider-Man to a time out if he dared reach out and poke at the corpse like Stephen suspected he wanted to.

“C’mon team,” he said instead, startling Spider-Man enough that he drew back from the alien to peer over at them, “Time to head back to the tower.” 

Thank god Spider-Man wore a mask, because Stephen didn’t think he’d be able to help any comments he would’ve made if he’d actually been able to see the pout Spider-Man was almost definitely sporting at that moment.

“I can take you.” 

Stark snapped around to face Stephen, clearly just as shocked as the man himself that he’d just offered. 

“You?”

Stephen schooled his face back into a passive expression, ready to pretend he’d meant to say that. “Of course. I don’t believe any of you are capable of creating portals unless I am much mistaken.”

Stark shook his head, the faceplate retreating back into his armour as he looked at Stephen with a puzzled expression. “You really offering, Merlin?” 

Without a word Stephen simply swept his hands through the air, a shower of golden sparks parting to reveal the interior of Stark’s precious tower. The Captain wasted no time in heading through the gateway, a nod of thanks spared to Stephen on his way. The other Avengers trailed dutifully after him until it was just Stark, Strange and the Spider left.

“Thanks Gandalf,” Stark said, walking through the gateway. He’d just put one foot through the portal when he called over his shoulder without turning, “Drop the dead bug Underoos, I am not letting that thing in my house.” 

Stephen turned only to see Spider-Man actually letting an alien’s body, that he had apparently been attempting to smuggle into Stark Tower, drop in defeat. He slouched down before making his way into the tower, grumbling about how it was totally for science’s sake anyway, the whole time.

A split second later Strange found himself following the Spider into the tower. He didn’t try to justify why he felt the need to keep interacting with the Avengers once he’d played his part. If Wong found out he’d stuck around for more than the bare minimum time Stephen would never hear the end of it. Next thing he knew Wong would probably start accusing him of something horrible, like that he had friends or something.

  


-

  


“I’m just saying-”

“No.”

“But Mr Stark,” Spider-Man whined. 

“No.” 

“Okay, but-”

“Kid. I’m not going to let you go back out there to steal an alien just so you can impress your nerd friends.”

Stephen cast a glance over at the unlikely pair, watching the way Spider-Man hunkered down in an exaggerated imitation of sadness which only served to make him look more like a pouting toddler than before. Frankly, it was an impressive feat considering that’s how Stephen had assumed he looked naturally. Stark on the other hand was determinedly not looking at the teen, instead staring blankly at the mindless television show the other Avengers had put on.

When he’d walked into the tower after them no one had questioned Stephen’s presence, merely an eyebrow or two raised in curiosity before they shrugged and handed him a beer, wordlessly inviting him to join them for their post-battle ritual of doing absolutely nothing. Well, it certainly looked like the Captain wanted to do some form of mission debrief but he appeared resigned to accept that his teammates wouldn’t be open to such an apparently awful idea. Instead he was sat down, leg twitching with unbridled energy, but slowly he began settling in a wry smile reaching his lips as he became increasingly more invested in whatever garbage television everyone was watching.

Stephen felt his weight shift when a body flopped gracelessly down onto the couch beside him. He glared at Clint Barton who only grinned at him in return. Stephen tried to ignore the archer so he could go back to trying to figure out what Spider-Man’s deal was when Barton elbowed him, and not too gently.

“What.”

“Why you trying to kill the kid with your murder eyes Dumbledore?” Barton replied, taking another swig of beer without even looking over at the boy in question. 

“I’m not.”

“Sure thing, Glinda.”

“Glinda?”

“The good witch?” Hawkeye rolled his eyes at Stephen’s blank expression, “Sheesh. And they say I’m the uncultured one. Anyway, what’ve you got against the kid?”

Stephen smirked at the archer’s thinly veiled protectiveness, which earned him a flat stare but not a denial of any sort. It was almost cute, however much Barton might grumble and complain about the teen, there was no doubt that he cared for him. “You listen to him.” 

Barton seemed thrown by Stephen’s apparent non-sequitur, and waited surprisingly patiently for him to elaborate. “He told you to move in the middle of a fight,” Stephen struggled to find the words to explain why that was so peculiar, “You didn’t even verify his claims that something was going to happen before you followed his warnings. And not only you. I saw the Widow completely disrupt her own fight mid-swing because he called out to her. Stark didn’t hesitate for a second after Spider-Man told him to duck. You all have years of experience over the child.”

“You’re asking why we trust him?”

Stephen hummed noncommittally, uncomfortable with how knowingly Hawkeye was watching him. Like he could see straight through Stephen and knew exactly what he was feeling about having a child start calling the shots on a battlefield.

“Why not ask him yourself?” Before Stephen could even open his mouth to protest, Barton had called the kid over, who happily wandered up to them, a tilt to his head the only indication he was curious what was happening. Stephen was somewhat surprised he’d kept the mask on, figuring the Avengers knew the boy’s identity but apparently not. Reluctantly, Stephen answered the unasked question. 

“How do you know to warn your teammates of danger when you yourself can’t see it?’ Stephen had watched throughout that entire battle and not once had Spider-Man seemed to be looking in the direction of the Avenger he was addressing. He was embarrassed to admit it, but Stephen had attempted to identify if the boy had some kind of magic about him, but hadn’t found anything. 

“Oh, that’s just my Spidey Sense.” Spider-Man said, like that made any sense. 

Stephen raised one eyebrow, hoping to convey just how stupid that sounded. Beside him, Hawkeye huffed a laugh at his expression. 

“It lets me know when stuff is happening.” 

“That clears… nothing up.” Stephen said, only to have Spider-Man shrug. 

“Dunno what to tell you man. It’s a bit like a premonition. I guess? I know when me or my friends are in danger and that tends to happen a lot when we’re all fighting dangerous aliens. So I just call it as I feel it y’know?” 

No. Stephen did not know. But Barton was grinning smugly at him, clearly waiting for Strange to embarrass himself somehow. Maybe he thought he’d try and get the kid to prove it. But really that was no longer his greatest concern.

“Why do you call it that?”

“What? Spidey Sense? Because that’s what it is.”

“You know spiders can’t exactly see into the future though.” Spider-Man looked confused, like no one had ever questioned his gimmick. Stephen sighed. “You call it a ‘Spidey Sense’ but there is nothing about it that inherently relates to arachnids.”

“Yeah… but I’m Spider-Man.”

“Yes,” he said patiently, as though speaking to a small child, not someone who regularly went out in costume to fight criminals. On second thought, maybe patience was needed for someone who genuinely believed that was a good idea. “But your power has nothing to do with spiders. The only spider-like thing you seem capable of is climbing walls.”

“I shoot webs.”

“Didn’t you make those yourself? They’re not exactly natural.”

“Well yeah,” Spider-Man gestured to the emblem on his chest, “but I’m a spider. It’s like, my thing.”

“You’re not a spider though.”

“Yeah I am.”

“No?” Barton was grinning widely, watching the two of them as though they were his new favourite show. “You’re just doing all this for a… well, for an aesthetic.”

Spider-Man huffed indignantly, crossing his arms and almost certainly pouting, again. “Well at least my name isn’t ‘Doctor Strange’,” Barton genuinely laughed at that, Spider-Man ignored him and carried on, “Like, yeah, you’re weird, that part I get. But magic doesn’t make you a doctor. So I don’t know how you think _I’m_ the one with the inappropriate made up name here.” 

Barton cackled. 

Spider-Man stared. 

And Stephen Strange regretted ever speaking to the Avengers. 

Without a word he simply stood, opened a portal into the Sanctorium. After a moment’s pause he turned, to see Hawkeye and Spider-Man both watching him attentively. Stephen made sure to stare them both in the eyes before speaking, his voice as flat as he could possibly make it.

“It’s not made up.”

Spider-Man had barely muttered a confused “huh?” before Strange snapped the portal closed in his face.

“Weird?” He muttered to himself, alone in the quiet temple, “He thinks _I’m_ the weird one?”

**Author's Note:**

> lmao been a while since i update this series ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> as always come yell at me on tumblr @mauverawrites  
> and sorry for how much alliteration was in this wow


End file.
